ALONE BUT NOT LONELY

alone but not lonely - Brigitte Nioche

When I first lost my husband it was a difficult time. I felt lonely. I felt left behind. Daily life was not fun anymore and the worst thing was to go to a restaurant. Sitting alone and seeing mostly couples around me made me wonder if the world really moves in sets of twos?

But with the passing years things changed. Now when I sit in a restaurant and look closer at couples – older and younger – who I envied before  – I see something else.  Some look like they wished they were somewhere else. Some don’t say a word to each other all through their meal. Some are on their cell phones, and sometimes both are. But if only one is busy on the phone their partner looks increasingly displeased.

Observing this I feel relieved and grateful that I can just enjoy my glass of wine, and  going even step further I remember my blessings:

  • I don’t have to cook everyday
  • I can come home late or later – or not at all
  • I can buy that expensive handbag without having to justify my purchase
  • I can stay up as late as I want
  • I don’t have to wash socks
  • I can travel anywhere I feel like going
  • I am free to do what I want- when I want

These are just a few of my reason, but I am sure every single woman reading this and enjoying her freedom has her own list. Would it be too much to ask to share it with us? Grateful if you could leave a comment!

And never forget – A Smile changes everything!

Brigitte


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DOS AND DON’TS FOR HAPPINESS – FLOWERS

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Sharing a few friendly words with another person, even a stranger in a supermarket or a train station, or when the situation allows, is easy. All you have to do is smile, ask a  question, and start the conversation.

This is what I did last Saturday. I walked up to the flower display at Loews, where a lady was looking at the flowers too.

“Aren’t they pretty?” I asked her

“Yes, but then you never know how long they will last, how fresh they are, and if you like them when you get them home.”

This is a DON’T.

Watching her walk away without flowers I was wondering how somebody can have so many excuses for not wanting a splash of cheerfulness in their life. (No, she didn’t look like she couldn’t afford to buy flowers.  She was very well dressed and groomed). And it was not the flowers fault either, they looked very fresh.  It was her negative attitude that prevented her from taking home a pretty bunch of flowers which would have added a ray of sunshine to her day.

Andrew Weil M.D.  who often appeared on Channel 13 giving advice on how to make us feel better, always mentioned that flowers should be part of our life, because, besides their beauty, they give us energy –

 

…but you have to buy the flowers first!

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If YOU have experienced any negative or positive behavior it would be wonderful if you shared it with us. It will remind us how to embrace the positive in life, and how important it is to get rid of anything negative.

Thank you for participating in this quest.

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And never forget – A Smile Changes Everything

Brigitte


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WHY LIVE A COMPLICATED LIFE?

Why Live a Complicated Life?

  • Miss someone?  ….  CALL                    
  • Wanna meet?  ….  INVITE
  • Wanna be understood?  ….  EXPLAIN
  • Have a question?  ….  ASK
  • Don’t like it?  ….  SAY IT
  • Like it?  ….  STATE IT
  • Want something?  ….  ASK FOR IT
  • Like someone?  ….  TELL THEM


NOBODY WILL KNOW WHAT’S GOING IN YOUR MIND.

IT’S BETTER TO EXPRESS RATHER THAN TO EXPECT !!!  

           We have just one life. Keep it simple. BE HAPPY !!!!

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And never forget….A Smile Changes Everything!

Brigitte

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A BOOK COVER – THE FIRST IMPRESSION

The cover of a book is your first contact with an author and his story.

If you have been to my website and read my blogs you will have seen the cover of my book Getting Over Growing Older with the header displaying a photo of me.

Since the reaction of the  buyers always was “Oh, that’s a nice picture of you” and since that was not the reaction I had expected or the message I wanted to convey, I decided to change the cover – and instead of smiling at you, I hope the new cover will tell you more clearly what the book is about, namely sharing my personal experience of growing older, and assuring women in their 40s or 50s plus that growing older is not only about going down hill. But it gives us a chance to enjoy life in many new and interesting ways.

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Now that you have seen the new cover I would mean a lot to me if you would tell me how you like it. Please leave a comment or email me at bbnnic@gmail.com

Thank you so much

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And never forget – A Smile Changes Everything

Brigitte

 

 

 

THE GOLDEN GIRLS

 

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  • We watched them
  • We laughed with them
  • We thought they were funny
  • We loved them

But today so many years later it looks like the writers of this TV show were ahead of their time. They addressed a need and gave a solution for something so many seniors  are facing today, namely living alone. And for most of these older people it is not their choice, but a reality which is hard to change, and which circumstances of life have imposed on them.

So here come the Golden Girls – not long ago I read an article – sorry I forgot the name of the publication – but since the article was so a propos I didn’t forget what I had read. It was about three women who have put this idea in motion, and they were grateful for

  • not to being alone anymore
  • knowing if they fell sick somebody would be there to help
  • sharing meals
  • sharing expenses – which allowed them to live in a nicer place
  • sharing their thought and feelings with another human being

Of course what to watch out for was also mentioned

  • never buy a house together with another person
  • there has to be just one owner – it leaves the door open for everyone to come and go if things don’t work out
  • have house rules re cleaning, cooking time, meals, etc.
  • take your time to make a commitment
  • look at many options before you do
  • and above all
  • make sure you like the person

Shortly after I had read this article there was a television show about three men living together, about 65 to 75 (my guess) and when they were asked how it felt sharing a house and their life, they said laughingly while pushing each other like school boys, “We haven’t had so much fun in years.” And they truly looked happy and alive.

Of course these are the pioneers. But every major change and movement started with a few who eventually convinced the rest of the world – and here we are speaking about the fast growing group of older people looking for solutions to their changing world.

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Most of the Golden Girls have left us, but we are lucky to still have Betty White. What a role model! Over 90 her enthusiasm for life is contagious. She looks nice, is well dressed, and always has a positive attitude. Is that why she is still round? Maybe? Whatever the answer staying positive is like sunshine making your days brighter and your life happier.

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Thank you Golden Girls for the years of laughter and sunshine  you gave us and for showing us a way of life that could just make the difference in our life now!                                  

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And never forget – A Smile Changes Everything

Brigitte

 

HOPE IN A JAR

I want to share the following article with you which appeared in the The Times in the UK.

After reading it I checked on Amazon and yes it is available through Amazon and they ship from the UK.  The link is myperfecteyes.co.uk

An eye cream that really works?

A product that really does banish under-eye wrinkles . . . but only for a few hours

Alice Hart-Davis

September 8 2016, 12:01am, The Times

The skin around eyes is thinner than elsewhere in the face and wrinkles easily Michael Leckie for The Times

It is one of the holy grail products for beauty seekers. Along with an invisible lift to hoist drooping eyelids and a magic wand to eradicate extra chins, what we all long for is a miracle in a bottle to get rid of bags and wrinkles under the eyes.

Eyes are such a giveaway of ageing. The skin around them is thinner than elsewhere in the face. It wrinkles easily, sags into bags as we get older and is prone to puffiness.

We are always suckers for new products that promise the earth — or at least, a little bit of real-life photoshopping. Enter the latest “miracle”, My Perfect Eyes, a cream invented in Australia that claims to be able to banish wrinkles in seconds. One that comes with a live video demonstration that has been given the all-clear by the Advertising Standards Authority (ASA), no less.

Can this sort of thing possibly work? Most women are pretty cynical about “miracle products”, even if the ASA has said that the stuff does what it says on the tin — if only for a short time.

“I’ve seen this kind of product before,” says cosmetic dermatologist Dr Sam Bunting. “Essentially it creates a clingfilm effect, holding in the bulging eye bag. I think this kind of product does work on a temporary basis, which is great, because it’s a tricky area to treat without resorting to invasive procedures.”

I’ve tried other products like this. There’s Eyesential, a thin gel that you sweep under the eye area and which slowly tightens over 15 minutes as it dries. I’ve seen make-up artists get great results with this, but when I tried it, I never got it quite right. It tightened all right, but too much product meant loose skin would be scrunched into nasty folds.

Then there’s Roloxin Lift, a face “masque” that tightens as it dries into a white powder. When you wash off the powder, the skin stays a bit more taut, even when you put on moisturiser and make-up.

The old favourite for under-eye tightening is haemorrhoid cream (benzocaine, the active ingredient, causes the blood vessels to contract, which reduces puffiness), but this can make under-eye skin even drier and therefore prone to more wrinkling.

Most new types of hope-in-a-jar are either improbably cheap (like Aldi’s £7 anti-ageing serum with caviar extract) or eye-wateringly expensive (Dior’s new La Cure anti-ageing serum, £950).

This finds a middle ground. It costs £59.95 on the firm’s own website, is also available on Amazon and TV shopping channels and comes with a shopping list of instructions. It’s not claiming to improve the skin or plump it up in any way, it simply forms an invisible, web-like film under the eye that will compress any bagginess or puffiness and temporarily hide fine lines and wrinkles.

You can’t put anything wet — such as moisturiser, liquid foundation or concealer — on top of it or the web will dissolve. So crying and sweating are clearly off limits, or your fragile web will melt and you’ll be back to normal. It is meant to last for up to ten hours, so don’t apply it too early or there will be a Cinderella-style collapse later in the evening.

Eyes are such a giveaway of ageing

I pull the wand out of the bottle and wipe a pea-sized amount on the back of my hand. I make a firm sweep outwards under my right eye from the inner corner, wiping the tail ends of the residue into the crow’s feet that branch off over my cheeks. And wait.

Over the next 60 seconds, I can feel the stuff tightening as it dries, the strangest sensation as it feels as though the skin is shrinking into itself. It works! A minute later, it has dried into a thin shiny film and my under-eye area looks altogether smoother, the lines and crow’s feet much less evident. It keeps on tightening for the next five minutes, then tingles alarmingly for another five before settling down.

I quickly swipe some under the other eye — a bit too much, as it turns out, as it goes into a slight snakeskin effect. I think I need more practice. I suspect it will work a treat on my husband’s eye bags, although he absolutely refuses to touch the stuff, let alone show the results in the national press.

So. Holy grail? Sort of. Will I use it again? Absolutely. It’s a quick fix that works, and even if it’s only for a few hours, even if it’s just a short-lived self-esteem booster, isn’t that exactly what we all want? myperfecteyes.co.uk

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So when you find out it really is the Holy grail – or not – please, please share your experience on this blog. Or tell us how you feel about using these type of products.

And never forget – A Smile Changes Everything!

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THOUGHT OF THE DAY – WHO ARE THEY TALKING TO?

 

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NOT YOU I’M SURE!!!!

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And never forget – A Smile Changes Everything

       2016-01-27 12.40.02 (5)                                                   Brigitte

AARP MAGAZINE

Do you get the AARP Magazine?

It has been put in my mailbox for some years, but I never read it until recently. And now turning the pages I don’t miss anything. And if you receive the magazine I would like draw your attention to an article in the June/July issue entitled Leading Ladies.

The Leading Ladies are Sharon Stone, Alfre Woodward, and Jane Fonda – as my grandmother used to say “age happens to everybody.” But without giving the story away here are some of the points they made – and I quote:

  • Sharon Stone  58- I don’t think we have to accept the assignment of aging, that all of a sudden you’re supposed to be dowdy………..
  • Alfre Woodaard 63- Age is what you decide you want it to be. I am still in motion.
  • Jane Fonda 78 – If you would have told me when I was 20 or 30 that I’d be happier at 70, I would have said to you ‘You are out of your mind.’

The encouragement of these ladies is uplifting and can inspire any woman to make the best of life’s third act.

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Do you have a story you would like to share? Would love to hear it!

And never forget – A Smile Changes Everything

DSC08016-2 (2)Brigitte

AGE – WHY ARE NUMBERS SO IMPORTANT?

How often have we been told, read or heard, that age is only a number. Some of us – now in the higher numbers – totally agree that the number is not what is important. But then there are others who can’t get over it, not their own number or others.

This is what happened to me lately which left me speechless. On a sunny Saturday morning Annie, John and I were sitting in one of London’s Parks drinking coffee and waiting for James and Andrea to join us for a visit of the Soane Museum near by. I had not seen them for nearly two  years. It wasn’t long before they arrived. Everybody hugged and kissed, and when it came to me hugging Andrea, she  stepped back, looked at me, and without a Hi or Hello first, said,

“You never told me how old you really are?” It was so taken back that it took a moment before I answered but then I said firmly, “And I never will!”!”

She didn’t pursue the matter further but it left me wondering how important age  –  as a number –  is to her.

My advice is don’t say how old you are – why do you want somebody to know that you are 70 when you look only 60?  No, women don’t look their age today – check it out – look around and see all the good-looking seniors! Here are two of them

And never forget – A Smile Changes Every Thing.

Brigitte

 

BUCKET LIST – DO YOU HAVE ONE?

Before ending the book signing at The Bell Pub in England I did a little survey by asking who of the ladies had a Bucket List. Two hands went up. When I asked why others did not have one the answer was always something like this, “I never thought about it. I know there are things I still want to do before I die, but never made a plan.”

Well a bucket list is a plan.  Life coaches and therapists often suggest to write down what is in our heart to show us what we really want.

I handed out paper and pens and after 15 minutes collected the answers. Here are some of them:

  • A nice young man – ( this came from a pretty, vivacious blond)
  • Botox facial filler
  • Go up and down the High Line in New York
  • To walk the Inca Trail
  • To walk the full distance of the Great Wall of China
  • Learn to surf – well
  • To build and own a donkey sanctuary
  • Travel to Venice on the Orient Express
  • To visit all the wonders of the world
  • To write a children’s book
  • To run the London Marathon
  • Go to Iceland
  • Travel to Avignon and stay for a long time and paint
  • Take a train across Europe and stop at the places I really want to see
  • See more of South Africa
  • Take a river cruise down the Danube
  • Go to Koblenz in Germany to see a painting my grandmother did, which now hangs in a museum there.(I asked her if she had ever seen it and she said never)

Some of these dreams are a little more difficult to fulfill than others, but not unreachable if you allow yourself to make it a priority.

By the way the lady who had never seen her grandmother’s painting is on her way to Koblenz. She said, “I am glad I came today, this is really a wake-up call.”

Tell us what is on your bucket list!

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The following photos are an encouragement for the lady who wants go to Avignon in France and paint.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And never forget – A Smile Changes Everything

Brigitte