Category: Growing Older

WRITING THE NEXT CHAPTER OF YOUR LIFE

Published on by Brigitte NiocheLeave a comment

I Hope you had a wonderful beginning of 2019 and to help you start it off in the right direction here is an excerpt of my new book GETTING OVER GROWING OLDER .

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

When you speak about yourself, you always say, “In my life.” But do you really have only one life? I don’t think so. Looking back, I see that I went through many different phases, which all had a distinct beginning and end like chapters in a book. this phase of your life is a new chapter. Will it be a happy one filled with challenges, new experiences, joy, and laughter?

That depends on you. You are the Author of this new chapter in your life, and you will write the story’s happy ending. Yes, there will be difficulties, and your will have to deal with them, but the story will be happier and easier to write if you stay optimistic, positive, and refuse to let old age creep in between the lines.

The only thing constant is change. How you deal with change determines your future — and if you never give up – the future will be brighter

And never forget – A Smile Changes Everything!

Brigitte

NEW YORK CITY IS LOSING A LANDMARK

Published on by Brigitte Nioche6 Comments

Going shopping is always fun – but not so today. Today it was not about shopping but about saying  goodbye to Lord & Taylor. How many of my lunch times have I spent there over the last 20 years? – strolling through the isles and roaming the designer stocked floors. The store was just up the street from my office and I used to  call it my second home.

Today empty shelves, empty glass counters and racks half filled with  left overs, stood lost on the only three floors still open.  Well, January 2, 2019 is around the corner, the date the oldest department store in the US will close the doors of its flagship store on Fifth Avenue which opened in February 1914.

I will miss going there, shopping there, spending time there, but more importantly it represents the end of era. A serious reminder when you are over 50 like me. It brings to mind that a  part of my life, something I cherished is gone, and will never come back. I know change is good, change is necessary, but sometimes I would be grateful for a bit more time!

Thank you Lord & Taylor     

And Always remember – A Smile Changes Everything!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Beauty Over 60: Torn Jeans – Really?

Published on by Brigitte NiocheLeave a comment

 

Holes and more holes are all over the  most popular garment in the world – our jeans. And the way things are going, one day  there will only be little bits of fabric holding the holes together.

Years ago this look caught on and then faded away but now it is back with a vengeance. From designers to mass market brands, jeans are full of tears and holes and the biggest rips get the highest prices – which makes me wonder – if I wanted to wear ripped jeans why could I not rip them myself and save some money?

 

But being over 60 ripped jeans won’t do anything for me. The appeal the young find in the holes – I think it is sex appeal – might give the wrong image for us more mature women.

While my friend Marie, well over 60,  was visiting me, she wore a pair of ripped and torn jeans. At one moment during the evening Betty,  another friend took me aside and asked with empathy in her voice, “Doesn’t Marie  own a decent pair of jeans? These look so sloppy.”

Jeans are here to stay. If you are a child or 100 years old. but the fads applied to them might not be something to follow after 60.

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And Never forget – A Smile changes Everything!

Brigitte

 

 

 

 

 

HOW TO FIND A ROOMMATE

Published on by Brigitte NiocheLeave a comment

On April 21, 2018 I posted a video on this site “Having a Roommate in Your Golden Years.”

But talking about something and actually doing it, are two things. And therefore, I started wondering how I would go about finding a roommate. In my video I did suggest that maybe some of our friends might be candidates to becoming a roommate.

So, when by chance, I got the opportunity to try it out I took notes – which I would like to share with you.

Spending a few weeks in a summer place in the country I had invited, separately, five friends, each one for a week. No, not with the intention of taking notes. But after my third visitor left it occurred to me that this would be a way to find a roommate when the time comes.

My first visitor, let me call her  Jane, and I have known each other for about 10 years. I like her and we look at the world in very much the same way. She is a strong personality and always told me that she needs to be in charge – nothing wrong with that, but since I also like to have my say, her being in charge – such as – telling my friendly fresh egg providing neighbor that we don’t want any eggs today, without consulting me, would not be my way of sharing.

My second visitor, let me call her Wendy, and I have known each other for over 40 years. Yes, there have been ups and downs in our friendship, but our history always smoothed things out again. Unfortunately over the years she has become fearful and her well mend advice of ‘watch that step’ or you shouldn’t have that standing there, you might fall over it’  are  reminders that would not make my days happier.

My third visitor, let me call her Genie, and I have also known each other for a long time. She is very laid back, does not worry about many things if anything, and is very pessimistic. If I wait for the plumber she has now hesitation to tell me ‘he probably won’t come, they never do! ‘ Maybe he doesn’t come but I don’t want to know before.

If this would have been a competition – my fourth visitor, let me call her Diane would have won. We have  known each through business connections over 30 years. During her visit in the country we laughed about the past, the present and had no trouble to disagree and then agree of where a picture should be hang.

Then my fifth visitor, Marie from Switzerland came. We have no history together, but have always liked each other and coming from the same corner of the world gave us a connection. She is funny, and having a hearty laugh is easy. But when she told me she buys only chickens when she knows where and by whom they were raised, and the same for fruit and vegetables I started thinking. But the last straw came when I did the laundry and asked her if she wanted me to include hers, and she said, “You really don’t mind if my sweat mixes with yours?” Is there really more sweat than water in a washing machine?

Of course this is a one-sided story, and none of my friends are looking for a roommate, or have been asked if I would qualify, but what I learned is – and this is important – never expect to find somebody exactly like yourself, or there is no roommate out there for you. But there will always be a kindred spirit if you look for one!

Just remember Maud, or Betty, or Blanche, or Sophia of the Golden Girls, if they could make it – we can!

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And Never forget – A Smile Changes Everything!

Brigitte

 

 

Your Age Is Nobody’s Business!

Published on by Brigitte Nioche5 Comments

 

No, I won’t tell you how old I am. If I do, you will see me with different eyes, and you will judge everything I do or say with that number in mind.

I made the mistake once telling someone my age. I regretted it instantly and still do. Janet, a friend of mine living in Switzerland who is ten years younger than I, was visiting New York, and it was my birthday. We went to a bar to have a few drinks, when suddenly she said, “So tell me, how old are you today?” And I fell into the trap.

Maybe it was the third glass of wine, or maybe it was because I knew I didn’t look much older than she. Anyway, my ego took over, and I told her.

“Can I help you carry that?” she asked the next day when I was holding a small package. Shit, I thought, why did I tell her? Later, when she asked me if I would like to go to Costa Rica with her, she qualified that things are really quite comfortable there and I shouldn’t worry.

Why would I worry? But she did, now that she knew my age.

It is often said that age is “only a number” and the difference lies in what you do with that number. sorry for the cliché, but this loosely translates into “You are only as old as you feel.”

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If you are in doubt that telling people your age influences their behavior towards you – try it out. Many of my readers have come back to me and confirmed this to be true. It’s is not a matter of hiding our age, no we are proud of it, but it is nobody’s business – remember the time when nobody dared to asked such a question??? Today people do, but we still don’t have to tell them.

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This is an excerpt from my book ‘Living Longer Living Well” (more on my next blog)

And Never Forget – A Smile Changes Everything!

Brigitte

 

Embrace A New Reality – Find A New Life

Published on by Brigitte Nioche3 Comments

Are you prepared to become 80 years old, or 90, or more? Are you prepared to learn square dancing?

When  we get older and retire how well we adjust to our new life depends on many things, but most importantly on how prepared and ready we are to:

  • learn new skills
  • meet new people
  • go to unknown places
  • let go of the life we know
  • get out of our comfort zone
  • move to a new house or town
  • take risks

Being older and getting older might last a long time. If you are in your sixties or seventies you might have 25 years in front of you. Could you really look out of the same window, at the same world for that long?

Years ago I read an article in which the author advised people to learn a new trade before retiring, giving them a chance at a new life, a new career. But how many of us being 60 or 70 years old have done that? Not many. But maybe we can redeem ourselves by getting out of our comfort zone and start thinking out of the box?

What would be wrong if you moved to another country for a few months of the year. Or followed your desire to paint? Or took a cruise around the world? Or sold your house and moved into a nice new condo?

The kids – the grandkids? Don’t worry about them, they have their own life and just because you spend a few months of the year in Italy you won’t lose them. On the contrary they will be happy to visit you in Italy!

You can initiate a lot of these changes, but also watch out for what the Universe might send your way – let’s say a friend wants to start a business and ask you to be a partner. The answer is not ‘at my age I don’t think I want to take the risk.‘ Instead grab this opportunity. It might sound a little crazy or risky but it will push you out of your numbing comfort zone; giving you a reason to get up in the morning, bringing you back to life, a life which will fill the years ahead.

So are you ready to go to the moon? Image result for photos of the moon

Are you ready to go swimming with dolphins?Image result for swimming with dolphin pictures

Of course you are! Because  – not at any time – are you too old to change and think out of the box!

And never forget – A smile changes Everything!

Brigitte

 

Not Ready to be Old Yet? – Interview

Published on by Brigitte NiocheLeave a comment

Client Spotlight: Living Longer with @BrigitteNioche

Meet Brigitte Nioche

Brigitte Nioche is the author of Living Longer, Living Well: How to Embrace the Challenges of a Long Life. I had the pleasure of meeting Brigitte through our mutual editor, Candace Johnson. Brigitte is a fascinating, intelligent woman who came from Germany, traveled through Egypt, and now lives in Manhattan. I admire her class, pragmatism, and persistent effort to learn how to use social media. She’s also a witty writer! Check her out.

About the Book

NOT READY TO BE OLD YET?
What’s a woman “of a certain age” to do about sex, social media, and the latest fashion trends? In this charming, often self-effacing memoir, Brigitte Nioche shares her personal experiences of staying positive, dealing with the challenges that come in the second half of life, and living life to the fullest.

Interview with Brigitte Nioche

How long have you been writing?

For a very long time – my first article about a church in upstate New York was published in 1972

Why did you start writing?

I wanted to share my experience with others

When did you publish your first book?

The Sensual Dresser in 1981 published by Perigee.

What gave you the idea to write LIVING LONGER, LIVING WELL?

I think I have explained this in the introduction of the book – but I would like to add the idea of the book is to show people how important it is, at any age, to stay connected to the world

My mother just turned sixty and loved your book. I’m about to turn forty. What do you think it is it about these age milestones that are so difficult?

The Media hype…. they make it sound like you are becoming a different person at that point – whereas the truth is we really don’t feel any different and we are not, so we should remember that – sorry for the cliché – age is just a number

You always say a smile changes everything. How do you keep such a positive attitude?

Well, when you smile the world smiles back at you – when you approach a person, and even though they look cranky, seeing you smile will make them smile too. A smile also says to most people – I like you and that changes everything and it becomes easy to be positive.

You live in Manhattan, a place I love deeply and have always fantasized living in full time. Tell us a little about your lifestyle there and your day to day activities.

I love New York and don’t think I could live anywhere else – NY is vibrant and without doing much one feels always part of something – but when people envy me for living here because of   museums and art, and theater, I always tell them going to work doesn’t leave too much time to see everything – and another drawback is that living here I think I can always go for which reason   I sometimes miss something.

My lifestyle – now that I don’t work full time anymore I try to stick to a daily schedule and set myself tasks – of course the most important is writing – but since that is a rather lonely occupation I make sure to have an outside activity keeping me connected and up to date. Meeting people and interacting with them is my way to stay positive

How do you stay fit, healthy, and happy?

First let me say that when you are fit and feel good about yourself – you are happy. But to stay fit exercise, moving is necessary – no we don’t always feel like it, therefore, we must find an exercise that we like – walking, dancing (yes that is a very good exercise). I walk up 12 floors every day. and feel that is all I need – it is important to find something you like or you won’t do it for long. It should be enjoyable. and again, when you enjoy something it makes you feel optimistic at the same time.

Do you have kids? Grandkids? If so, how do they enrich your life? If not, did you ever regret not having children?

What should those growing older know about aging without children and grandchildren to help? I have one son and two grandchildren – I don’t see them often, but it is always a special day when I do, and I love the way they bring me-up-to-date especially on Social Media – the most important way to connect to them is to ask them about their life and interests and then listen to their answer.

For people who don’t have grandchildren it will be a good idea to get involved with some volunteering to do with children – or offer babysitting services for nieces and nephews

Reaching the age of forty, I feel my time is limited. Death can happen to an anyone at any time. What has given your life meaning? What legacy do you want to leave behind?

Let me first say that at 40 you should not think of this – you are young, in the middle of life – of course we can all die at any age, that’s why it is not useful to think about it at any age.

The Meaning of my life has been to lead a healthy, fruitful, busy life, leading the way by being a good example. And I hope that my legacy would be that my actions, my behavior made a difference in the life of the people who knew me.

Thanks  for answering all my questions, Brigitte!
Find all her links below.

Brigitte Nioche

readytolivelonger.com

Facebook

Twitter

Amazon

 

Do You Remember Turning 4O?

Published on by Brigitte NiocheLeave a comment

Image result for pictures of being 40

Stepping onto the balcony of my apartment on this sunny Monday morning I was wondering if Manhattan was still the same as yesterday, because I was not. I had just turned 40. Today is my birthday. Finally it had happened – I was 40 years old; far away from being young and far away from being old.

I remember as a child I heard adults speak about people in their 40’s, and for me it sounded like they were 100, and more importantly it seemed to be 100 years away. But today the 100 years have caught up with me. But I really don’t feel different, even though I have to admit I look a little different than 10 years ago.

Come to think of it age affects us throughout our life, but in very different ways. As children we hope for nothing more than to be older. When we reach 16 we can’t wait to be 20 because it seems that the world is waiting for us and we can’t wait to change the world. And yes, sometimes we do change the world, but the truth is the passing years change us – and suddenly there is that day when we turn 40.

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I have written this reflection many year ago, and now, closer to being old, I have learned that it is not the number of our birthdays which is important, but our attitude to those numbers. Therefore, just remember they are only numbers – numbers which can’t change a positive attitude and the love of life!

And always remember – A Smile Changes Everything!

bn-small-imageBrigitte

 

 

social media and boomers

SOCIAL MEDIA AND THE REST OF YOUR LIFE

Published on by Brigitte Nioche11 Comments

Retirement – a dream come true for so many, including the baby boomers whose numbers, according to statistics increase by 10,000 every day. Retirement fulfills the dream of not working anymore, of being free and walking on the sunny side of the street. But how sunny is that street. A street that might stretch for 10,20,30 year to come. And what is there to do on that street?

Some find their grandchildren there, or they find places to travel to, or helping others by volunteering, but will these really carry us to the end of that long road? Maybe and maybe not.

But there is something that could make us walk along that street with our head held high and feeling once more that we are part of the world and not just passing time. What is it?

Social Media

Here I have to take a moment and tell you how much I have resisted it. I didn’t like it. I struggled with it, and even went as far as I thinking I didn’t need it. Truthfully I would have preferred not to start and end my day with opening and closing that square window in my office which is part of the computer. So what made me change my mind?

Social Media

Why don’t you go online? Follow us on Twitter! Do you have a Facebook page? Get your statement by going to our website. Do you want to pay on line?  These are all questions facing us at one time or another and there is no getting away from it –  so the answer is (excuse the cliché) if you can’t beat them join them.

And by joining them we can:

  • Learning a new skill
  • Giving our life a new purpose
  • Connecting with the world
  • Feeling once more part of the world

Oh, all this is a challenge and not so easy to do. But haven’t we overcome lots of challenges in our life – why not this one?

To help me do this I have been looking for a program that will teach me. No, not online because that is where my problem lies and I won’t get it. So if you are like me, and want to take on this new challenge, try to find a class you can attend in person. Most libraries have such classes and even computers you can practice on. Or ask friends who already made the connection to Social Media to search the web to find a course for you.

And above all don’t be part of the 35% of seniors (a statistic mentioned by Senior Planet founder Tom Kamber) who don’t have a computer. If you don’t have one, get one and if you have one, learn all about it -be on the highway of life not on a  road leading to nowhere.

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And never forget – A Smile Changed Everything!

2016-01-27 12.40.02 (5)Brigitte