Beauty Over 60: Torn Jeans – Really?

 

Holes and more holes are all over the  most popular garment in the world – our jeans. And the way things are going, one day  there will only be little bits of fabric holding the holes together.

Years ago this look caught on and then faded away but now it is back with a vengeance. From designers to mass market brands, jeans are full of tears and holes and the biggest rips get the highest prices – which makes me wonder – if I wanted to wear ripped jeans why could I not rip them myself and save some money?

 

But being over 60 ripped jeans won’t do anything for me. The appeal the young find in the holes – I think it is sex appeal – might give the wrong image for us more mature women.

While my friend Marie, well over 60,  was visiting me, she wore a pair of ripped and torn jeans. At one moment during the evening Betty,  another friend took me aside and asked with empathy in her voice, “Doesn’t Marie  own a decent pair of jeans? These look so sloppy.”

Jeans are here to stay. If you are a child or 100 years old. but the fads applied to them might not be something to follow after 60.

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And Never forget – A Smile changes Everything!

Brigitte

 

 

 

 

 

HOW TO FIND A ROOMMATE

On April 21, 2018 I posted a video on this site “Having a Roommate in Your Golden Years.”

But talking about something and actually doing it, are two things. And therefore, I started wondering how I would go about finding a roommate. In my video I did suggest that maybe some of our friends might be candidates to becoming a roommate.

So, when by chance, I got the opportunity to try it out I took notes – which I would like to share with you.

Spending a few weeks in a summer place in the country I had invited, separately, five friends, each one for a week. No, not with the intention of taking notes. But after my third visitor left it occurred to me that this would be a way to find a roommate when the time comes.

My first visitor, let me call her  Jane, and I have known each other for about 10 years. I like her and we look at the world in very much the same way. She is a strong personality and always told me that she needs to be in charge – nothing wrong with that, but since I also like to have my say, her being in charge – such as – telling my friendly fresh egg providing neighbor that we don’t want any eggs today, without consulting me, would not be my way of sharing.

My second visitor, let me call her Wendy, and I have known each other for over 40 years. Yes, there have been ups and downs in our friendship, but our history always smoothed things out again. Unfortunately over the years she has become fearful and her well mend advice of ‘watch that step’ or you shouldn’t have that standing there, you might fall over it’  are  reminders that would not make my days happier.

My third visitor, let me call her Genie, and I have also known each other for a long time. She is very laid back, does not worry about many things if anything, and is very pessimistic. If I wait for the plumber she has now hesitation to tell me ‘he probably won’t come, they never do! ‘ Maybe he doesn’t come but I don’t want to know before.

If this would have been a competition – my fourth visitor, let me call her Diane would have won. We have  known each through business connections over 30 years. During her visit in the country we laughed about the past, the present and had no trouble to disagree and then agree of where a picture should be hang.

Then my fifth visitor, Marie from Switzerland came. We have no history together, but have always liked each other and coming from the same corner of the world gave us a connection. She is funny, and having a hearty laugh is easy. But when she told me she buys only chickens when she knows where and by whom they were raised, and the same for fruit and vegetables I started thinking. But the last straw came when I did the laundry and asked her if she wanted me to include hers, and she said, “You really don’t mind if my sweat mixes with yours?” Is there really more sweat than water in a washing machine?

Of course this is a one-sided story, and none of my friends are looking for a roommate, or have been asked if I would qualify, but what I learned is – and this is important – never expect to find somebody exactly like yourself, or there is no roommate out there for you. But there will always be a kindred spirit if you look for one!

Just remember Maud, or Betty, or Blanche, or Sophia of the Golden Girls, if they could make it – we can!

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And Never forget – A Smile Changes Everything!

Brigitte

 

 

Part Three – Your Age Is Nobody’s Business

How Old is Old?

It is interesting how, as we advance in years, we push the boundaries of what we consider “old age.”

“I am so depressed,” my friend Irma told me the other day. When I asked why, she put her hands up in despair and answered, “I am turning thirty next week. I never thought I would get there.”

No, none of us ever thinks that we will get “there.” What? Becoming thirty of forty, or fifty? Or even older? No way! That happens to others — not me! But as the years pile up, you’ll find yourself kicking the idea of “old” farther and farther down the road.

When I was a child, I wondered why people like my grandparents looked so different. I can’t remember my grandmother being anything  but old. She wasn’t old, she was only in her fifties, but fifty is an eternity from ten, and I never thought that one day I would belike her

There is a line somewhere in the Bible that states, “Blessed are the ignorant.” And I think the young are blissfully ignorant. Forgive me for using another cliché (I think clichés hang around so long because they tell the truth), but “youth is wasted on the young.” for a long time, I did not understand the meaning of it, probably because I was one of those ignorant young people. When I wasn’t young anymore, it clicked. Youth is wasted on them because they take their good fortune for granted, not realizing that it won’t last. To quote my grandmother again,”The only good thing about aging is that it happens to everybody.”

Irma was right: the first hurdle is thirty. At that age, you are no longer a girl, but a young woman. And just when you grow used to it, you turn forty. Now that is a real game changer. You are then a woman, and here and there, little wrinkles show up.  What saves you in your forties is that for most women, life is so busy with careers, children, or both, that you don’t have too much time to analyze the whys and hows of your changing body and attitudes.

During your fifties, you begin to realize that your body is irrevocable changing. Typically, women experience menopause –and hot flashes, of course. But speaking for myself, I was never happier than when “that part of me” was out of the way. What a relief! No more cramps, no more mood swings, no more fear of pregnancy –just the joy of sex!

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P.S. This is an excerpt from my book ‘Living Longer Living Well” (more on my next blog)

And Never forget – A Smile Changes Everything!

Brigitte

 

Quote Of The Day – Love Has No Age!

Love has never been a question of age . I shall never be so old as to forget what love is.                                                                                                                                Colette

This is true for me and I hope it is true for you too!!!!

And Never Forget – A Smile Changes Everything!

Brigitte

Part Two – Your Age Is Nobody’s Business

         

 

           If Age Is Only a Number – Why Does Everybody Want to Know Mine?

Getting older is inevitable, but how soon you allow it to make decisions for you is your choice. I know that I am not ready for it, and I live my life without thinking about how old I am. Except when my birthday is coming up-that’s always a reality check! Or when a friend says, “Isn’t it your birthday next week?”

“I don’t have birthdays anymore,” I say, “I stopped those years ago.”

I often get a reaction like, “What a good idea!” Over the years, I have heard other people reply, “I am always thirty-nine” or “I have started to count backward.”

As much as I would like to ignore my date of birth, the world will not. It is written on top of my driver’s license….and it makes me slightly nervous when someone asks, “May I see some identification?” I always hope that he or she does not pay attention to my age, and luckily they usually don’t

When I pick up my blood pressure medication, the pharmacist asks, “What is your date of birth?” I wonder if she couldn’t see it in my file or what knowing my age adds to my co-payment.

I answer in a low voice.

“Can you speak up, please?” she asks again

I repeat it once more an now everybody in the line behind me knows how old I am. Most likely, nobody cares-but I do. You might call me vain, and maybe I am, but hearing myself say my age again and again reminds me of how old I am. It confirms it. This is something I can’t allow, or it will settle in my brain and creep into my bones, killing the spring in my step . Maybe it is a small spring, not like someone who is twenty-five or even forty, but I still walk erect, and don’t drag my feet.

Yes, age is only a number. But, oh, how it influences us if we are not careful. My friend Angela, who is very vibrant, active, and looks years younger than her age, recently had a birthday. When I asked her how she wanted to celebrate, she said, “Oh my god, this is a big one. I really don’t feel like celebrating. Can you imagine? I will be X years old.” (No, I won’t tell on her?

“It happens to all of us.” I replied at the time, but she didn’t hear me.

I noticed that after her birthday, Angela started every sentence with, “Well now, at my age,” or “I don’t know how long I can still do this,” or “You never know, when one gets sick, seeing how old I am now……” She never had those thoughts before, but her last birthday gave her a terrible present —it robbed her of feeling not old.

“Please don’t speak about your age all the time; it is starting to depress me,” I said to her one day.

“But it is true, I am X years old now an who knows what will happen, or if I will see my grandchildren graduate.”

Getting a little impatient with her and not knowing what to say anymore, I quoted my grandmother, who all through my life was a beacon of wisdom for me: “You know if you don’t want to become old, you have to die young!”

But Angela was so caught up in her new image of being old, she did not understand what I was trying to tell her, and continued to list all the things she would have trouble doing from now on.

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P.S. This is an excerpt from my book ‘Living Longer Living Well” (more on my next blog)

And Don’t Forget – A Smile Changes Everything!

Brigitte

 

 

Your Age Is Nobody’s Business!

 

No, I won’t tell you how old I am. If I do, you will see me with different eyes, and you will judge everything I do or say with that number in mind.

I made the mistake once telling someone my age. I regretted it instantly and still do. Janet, a friend of mine living in Switzerland who is ten years younger than I, was visiting New York, and it was my birthday. We went to a bar to have a few drinks, when suddenly she said, “So tell me, how old are you today?” And I fell into the trap.

Maybe it was the third glass of wine, or maybe it was because I knew I didn’t look much older than she. Anyway, my ego took over, and I told her.

“Can I help you carry that?” she asked the next day when I was holding a small package. Shit, I thought, why did I tell her? Later, when she asked me if I would like to go to Costa Rica with her, she qualified that things are really quite comfortable there and I shouldn’t worry.

Why would I worry? But she did, now that she knew my age.

It is often said that age is “only a number” and the difference lies in what you do with that number. sorry for the cliché, but this loosely translates into “You are only as old as you feel.”

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If you are in doubt that telling people your age influences their behavior towards you – try it out. Many of my readers have come back to me and confirmed this to be true. It’s is not a matter of hiding our age, no we are proud of it, but it is nobody’s business – remember the time when nobody dared to asked such a question??? Today people do, but we still don’t have to tell them.

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This is an excerpt from my book ‘Living Longer Living Well” (more on my next blog)

And Never Forget – A Smile Changes Everything!

Brigitte

 

Old Friends Can Be New Friends Again

Women, Girlfriends, Nature, Walk

Articles in newspapers and magazine, including AARP, TV programs, many featuring health experts, and even doctors now all agree that loneliness can cut our live short. But advice how to overcome it varies.  One idea, however,  keeps popping up again and again:

“You must make new friends!” Not impossible but easier said than done. Yes, I am out there meeting new people but they don’t always turn into friends. And if they do we have little history together and making history  takes time (and  how much time do I have?)

So when the other day I was cleaning out a desk drawer I saw an old address book. I opened it slowly and started reading the names – oh, there was Janine’s name – I remember her as a fun person always ready for a joke. And there is Peter’s name – did he ever get  married to the girl he was dating? After thinking and wondering for a while I told myself to stop wondering and to pick up the phone and dial the number I still had – surprise  – it worked-and many other worked too. And if you wonder how to start a conversation after 5-10-15 years, my opening is,  “This is a voice from the  past, this is Brigitte.'” Silence – but not for long,  “Oh, really  what a surprise – how have you been? How nice to hear from you….” and so on and so on.

One of my here is a voice from the past calls was to a couple who had attended my son’s wedding 20 years ago . It took us close to an hour to catch up a little, a promise to meet soon and not to lose touch again was confirmed by exchanging emails.

I have other examples, but I don’t want to bore you with my friends. I am sure  you have an old address book too! Reading through it is a nice way to walk down memory lane and to bring back the past – now being older the past is something we need more than ever.

And it might only be  a phone call away – make that call and say here is a voice from the past!’

And Never forget – A smile Changes Everything!

Brigitte

 

 

My Roommate The Television

 

Image result for photos of people watching TV

When my husband died I don’t know how I would have made it through the days without  television. There was  the news, the latest events from around the world, movies, ads, game shows but I heard none of it. It was only background noise, a noise I needed desperately  to fill the new and terrible silence around me.

Through the following months, and now years, the TV is still on most of the time, but most of the time it is muted. When I move around in my apartment the images flashing by still give me the feeling of –  maybe – somebody is there with me?

According to statistics of Television viewership I am not alone. Television is a companion for a lot of retired, older people. Maybe it is for the same reason, not to feel alone, to be up-to-date, connected to the world allowing us  to know at every moment, instantly, what is happening  anywhere  in the world. But do we really need to know? Does it improve our life?

Having admitted to be a television junkie, I would like to share an experience that is slowly weaning me off my dependency – and it feels good.  Since a few months I am spending a week a month in a place where there is no television – yes, no television – or even WiFi.  All I have is my phone which let’s me get emails and phone calls. The first two days I am there I am miss the news. The third day it doesn’t matter, after all what could I do about it? And at the end of the week I know that the world turns and goes on without me.

A very freeing, appeasing experience, which has replaced the mute button to be the off button. It has also taken away the numbness I had developed seeing the world’s misery over and over, leaving me more aware of the world around me.

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Of course I still watch TV, but much less  and instead of the devastating news of the day I am happy to watch Downton Abbey!  

 

Always Remember – A Smile Changes Everything! 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

WHAT CAN CLOTHES DO FOR US?

They can make us feel good; they can give us confidence; they can make us look younger; they can make us look slimmer; they can make us look and feel sexy. But to achieve all of this or even just some of it is getting harder and harder. No, not because we are getting older, but because the fashion industry is becoming less and less helpful.

Unless we spend more money or buy a designer label, the quality of clothes on the rack  is dropping further and further – the fabric is cheap, the cut is bad, the construction shotty , seams are uneven and the fit – what is that?  A little too big – a little too tight – not a problem. Unfortunately many  younger customers have never known a well made garment, and therefore, don’t mind if the hem is longer on one side than the other, or very uneven.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I went shopping today in Bloomingdale’s Outlet store here on the Westside. Yes I know it is an outlet, but a Bloomingdale one which have a certain reputation. Yet I could not stop thinking that all these clothes I saw  looked like rags – already worn, second-hand. – Here are some images of the racks displaying their ‘latest arrivals.’

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It must be a generation gap on my part which makes me more aware of what I have to look out for and what it takes not too to look like I slept in my dress, or that I am wearing a hand-me-down. Here are a few things to watch out for if you still remember how clothes were made way-back-when:

  • The fit
  • The Quality
  • The coordination of colors
  • The condition

With a little extra time, and a little extra money remembering these points will help you avoid the already worn look!

And Never Forget – A Smile Changes Everything!

 

Having A Roommate in Your Golden Years

Listen carefully – this might be a way to change your life! Please leave a comment telling us how YOU feel about this – thank you

And never forget – A Smile Changes Everything!

Brigitte