On April 21, 2018 I posted a video on this site “Having a Roommate in Your Golden Years.”
But talking about something and actually doing it, are two things. And therefore, I started wondering how I would go about finding a roommate. In my video I did suggest that maybe some of our friends might be candidates to becoming a roommate.
So, when by chance, I got the opportunity to try it out I took notes – which I would like to share with you.
Spending a few weeks in a summer place in the country I had invited, separately, five friends, each one for a week. No, not with the intention of taking notes. But after my third visitor left it occurred to me that this would be a way to find a roommate when the time comes.
My first visitor, let me call her Jane, and I have known each other for about 10 years. I like her and we look at the world in very much the same way. She is a strong personality and always told me that she needs to be in charge – nothing wrong with that, but since I also like to have my say, her being in charge – such as – telling my friendly fresh egg providing neighbor that we don’t want any eggs today, without consulting me, would not be my way of sharing.
My second visitor, let me call her Wendy, and I have known each other for over 40 years. Yes, there have been ups and downs in our friendship, but our history always smoothed things out again. Unfortunately over the years she has become fearful and her well mend advice of ‘watch that step’ or you shouldn’t have that standing there, you might fall over it’ are reminders that would not make my days happier.
My third visitor, let me call her Genie, and I have also known each other for a long time. She is very laid back, does not worry about many things if anything, and is very pessimistic. If I wait for the plumber she has now hesitation to tell me ‘he probably won’t come, they never do! ‘ Maybe he doesn’t come but I don’t want to know before.
If this would have been a competition – my fourth visitor, let me call her Diane would have won. We have known each through business connections over 30 years. During her visit in the country we laughed about the past, the present and had no trouble to disagree and then agree of where a picture should be hang.
Then my fifth visitor, Marie from Switzerland came. We have no history together, but have always liked each other and coming from the same corner of the world gave us a connection. She is funny, and having a hearty laugh is easy. But when she told me she buys only chickens when she knows where and by whom they were raised, and the same for fruit and vegetables I started thinking. But the last straw came when I did the laundry and asked her if she wanted me to include hers, and she said, “You really don’t mind if my sweat mixes with yours?” Is there really more sweat than water in a washing machine?
Of course this is a one-sided story, and none of my friends are looking for a roommate, or have been asked if I would qualify, but what I learned is – and this is important – never expect to find somebody exactly like yourself, or there is no roommate out there for you. But there will always be a kindred spirit if you look for one!
Just remember Maud, or Betty, or Blanche, or Sophia of the Golden Girls, if they could make it – we can!
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And Never forget – A Smile Changes Everything!
Brigitte
Ready to Live Longer 