We have all heard someone say, “Oh, you should write a book!” And maybe you have thought about writing your memoirs – but doubting if anybody would be interested holds you back. Your family would certainly be curious, because they don’t know ALL ABOUT you.
How to start is always the hardest part, but help is in sight.
If you are receiving the AARPBulletin (and who doesn’t?) there is an article Tell The STORY of your life (September 2017 issue)giving step by step instructions and information how to go about it.
If you decide to leave this legacy for your kids and grandchildren it won’t only benefit them, but it will give you a purpose for getting up every morning, for being counted, for not feeling isolated or left behind – and at the end of that road you will leave part of you for posterity in the heart of those who loved you.
So the first step is reading the article in AARPBulletin – starting on page 34 – I hope it will inspire you
The other day when I was putting on my favorite black pants, and one of the four sweaters I wear all the time, finishing it with a duffel coat I have worn all winter, it occurred to me that I wear these items all the time. Then I asked myself why? The answer was easy – because I feel very comfortable in them – because I look good in them – because they stand up to wear and tear. They are like old faithful friends, and I can always rely on them to make my day. The reason? I bought the best quality I could afford.
No, it doesn’t mean we have to buy designer clothes, those are for the rich and famous. But it means choosing between a discount store – yes, I know they carry brands too, but often they are the items they could not sell elsewhere, the rejects – and a higher priced department store, like a Neiman Marcus, Lord & Taylor, or a boutique in your neighborhood.
If you have a budget, and who doesn’t, you will buy less by buying better, One advantage here is your wardrobe will be less crowded- and the other advantage is that you won’t have to think so long what to wear, because when you buy better, everything looks good on you.
It is an adjustment to pay $89 for a top instead of $29 but the extra $60 will earn their keep so to speak, over and over by making you feel and look good.
We are still in the beginning of the New Year – could that be one of your New Year’s resolutions? Please let me know, or if you have a question – leave a comment here and I will be in touch with you.
“I just want to put on some lipstick.” is something every woman says a thousand times during her life. And while freeing the creamy stick from its tube, looking in the mirror, and opening her lips slightly she carefully applies the magic that makes her look better and above all makes her feel whole again, because without it she feels incomplete.
I remember my mother-in-law, even at 91 years old, always had a lipstick close by. When she had diner at home or in restaurant a lipstick was right beside her plate. And no sooner had she finished her meal she picked it up and gently applied it to her lips. No, she needed no mirror, and no, she never missed, all was perfectly in place.
From all the items in our make-up kid the lipstick is the most effective:
it makes the face look alive
it makes the face look pretty
it adds sex appeal to the face
it protects the lips against dryness
it brightens up your smile
and most of all it makes us feel whole
Today’s women are not the first to enhance their appeal with lipstick. In 1923 the first lipstick in a tube was sold. But as far back as in Ancient Mesopotamia (5000 BC) women decorated their lips with crushed gem stones, and in Egypt Queen Nefertiti (1370 BC) was always depicted with red lips.
And ever since women have enhanced their beauty by coloring their lips. And our choices have grown ever since. It is an overwhelming task to find the perfect shade – (the reason we end up with dozens of lipsticks in our drawer). My personal chagrin is that every time I find the perfect color it is soon discontinued. I was told by a cosmetic company executive that women get very excited by new shades and it guarantees a sale.
But with all the options we have, beware of the following missteps when getting a little older:
too bright colors – can easily look garish
too dark colors – don’t give any life to the face
lip-gloss – tends to run into the little lines around the mouth
A statistic showing that when times are bad sales of lipstick go up certainly confirms that a lipstick is the most important item in our paint box.
Vending machines have been part of our life for a long time, but last week when I wanted to buy a train ticket they competed with a real live person.
Pennsylvania station in New York is a very busy place. Trains are leaving from here to Washington, Florida, New Jersey and Long Island. Never having gone to Long Island I was not sure where to buy my ticket. So I walked up to a young, very young policeman in his early 20s and asked,
“Where can I buy a ticket to Long Island?”
“Over there on the ticket vending machines.”
Wondering where ‘over there’ was I looked in the direction he had pointed to, and seeing my hesitation he said,
“Or do you want a real person to help you?” (is there any other kind?)
“Yes, that might be better” I answered.
“In that case turn right at the end there and you will see glass windows where real persons sell tickets.” and making sure I had understood he said again with great emphasis, “A real person will help you there.”
Following his instructions I found the windows and a real person sold me a ticket.
Of course there will come a day when the vending machines will win and there won’t be real persons behind glass windows to help us, but until then ‘let’s all enjoy the real people!
The cover of a book is your first contact with an author and his story.
If you have been to my website and read my blogs you will have seen the cover of my book Getting Over Growing Older with the header displaying a photo of me.
Since the reaction of the buyers always was “Oh, that’s a nice picture of you” and since that was not the reaction I had expected or the message I wanted to convey, I decided to change the cover – and instead of smiling at you, I hope the new cover will tell you more clearly what the book is about, namely sharing my personal experience of growing older, and assuring women in their 40s or 50s plus that growing older is not only about going down hill. But it gives us a chance to enjoy life in many new and interesting ways.
Now that you have seen the new cover I would mean a lot to me if you would tell me how you like it. Please leave a comment or email me at email@example.com
But today so many years later it looks like the writers of this TV show were ahead of their time. They addressed a need and gave a solution for something so many seniors are facing today, namely living alone. And for most of these older people it is not their choice, but a reality which is hard to change, and which circumstances of life have imposed on them.
So here come the Golden Girls – not long ago I read an article – sorry I forgot the name of the publication – but since the article was so a propos I didn’t forget what I had read. It was about three women who have put this idea in motion, and they were grateful for
not to being alone anymore
knowing if they fell sick somebody would be there to help
sharing expenses – which allowed them to live in a nicer place
sharing their thought and feelings with another human being
Of course what to watch out for was also mentioned
never buy a house together with another person
there has to be just one owner – it leaves the door open for everyone to come and go if things don’t work out
have house rules re cleaning, cooking time, meals, etc.
take your time to make a commitment
look at many options before you do
and above all
make sure you like the person
Shortly after I had read this article there was a television show about three men living together, about 65 to 75 (my guess) and when they were asked how it felt sharing a house and their life, they said laughingly while pushing each other like school boys, “We haven’t had so much fun in years.” And they truly looked happy and alive.
Of course these are the pioneers. But every major change and movement started with a few who eventually convinced the rest of the world – and here we are speaking about the fast growing group of older people looking for solutions to their changing world.
Most of the Golden Girls have left us, but we are lucky to still have Betty White. What a role model! Over 90 her enthusiasm for life is contagious. She looks nice, is well dressed, and always has a positive attitude. Is that why she is still round? Maybe? Whatever the answer staying positive is like sunshine making your days brighter and your life happier.
Thank you Golden Girls for the years of laughter and sunshine you gave us and for showing us a way of life that could just make the difference in our life now!
This is the result of a study done in Luxembourg. A country where, through proximity of other countries, people speak at least 2 if not 3 languages – German, French, Luxembourgish.
The study was done by Magali Perquin of the Department of Health and it concluded that compared with other countries the percentage of older people with dementia is lower in Luxembourg, 3.8 % against 6.4% in Europe, 7.1% in Latin America and 8% in Canada. They believe there is a strong possibility that it is the result of people speaking several languages.
It has long been said that challenging the brain with mental exercises like Crossword Puzzles will help to keep individual brain cells alive. But maybe doing crossword puzzles is not your thing? Therefore, could learning French be an option?
No, it’s not too late. Quite the contrary. It might be the answer to the question many older or retired people ask – how can I find a new purpose or an activity to occupy my time? And if it is not French you want to learn but you wouldn’t mind speaking another language, think of your vacation or travel plans – going to Italy next? Wouldn’t it be nice to order your dinner in Italian?
An added advantage to taking classes – no, not on-line- will be that you meet other like minded people – and you never know who you might meet and who is ready to go to Italy too!
Before ending the book signing at The Bell Pub in England I did a little survey by asking who of the ladies had a Bucket List. Two hands went up. When I asked why others did not have one the answer was always something like this, “I never thought about it. I know there are things I still want to do before I die, but never made a plan.”
Well a bucket list is a plan. Life coaches and therapists often suggest to write down what is in our heart to show us what we really want.
I handed out paper and pens and after 15 minutes collected the answers. Here are some of them:
A nice young man – ( this came from a pretty, vivacious blond)
Botox facial filler
Go up and down the High Line in New York
To walk the Inca Trail
To walk the full distance of the Great Wall of China
Learn to surf – well
To build and own a donkey sanctuary
Travel to Venice on the Orient Express
To visit all the wonders of the world
To write a children’s book
To run the London Marathon
Go to Iceland
Travel to Avignon and stay for a long time and paint
Take a train across Europe and stop at the places I really want to see
See more of South Africa
Take a river cruise down the Danube
Go to Koblenz in Germany to see a painting my grandmother did, which now hangs in a museum there.(I asked her if she had ever seen it and she said never)
Some of these dreams are a little more difficult to fulfill than others, but not unreachable if you allow yourself to make it a priority.
By the way the lady who had never seen her grandmother’s painting is on her way to Koblenz. She said, “I am glad I came today, this is really a wake-up call.”
Tell us what is on your bucket list!
The following photos are an encouragement for the lady who wants go to Avignon in France and paint.
This week I attended a meeting of the TheRadicalAgeMovement held at the Ethical Culture Society of NY.
There were close to 100 men and women, anywhere from 60 to 80+++. and one of the topics was “What do you fear the most about getting old?”
The discussion went on for the next three hours, and here are some of the major concerns,
that I outlive my money
that I will be incapacitated
that I will be alone
that nobody will take care of me
that I am not part of the world any longer
that I can’t travel anymore
that my friends have all died
that I can’t take care of myself
These fears, all of them, or some of them, I think cross every older person’s mind at one time or another. But we must not allow it to take over our life. One woman said,
“I can hardly sleep when I think of my finances?”
“May I ask you if you are having financial difficulties now? I asked.
“No, my accountant says I will not outlive my money. But I can’t stop worrying because one never knows what might happen.”
No, one doesn’t. But let’s stop and think! Isn’t this is true for any situation in life, and at any age? – you never know what might happen? And haven’t we all heard that worrying changes nothing? Realizing this we should not let an unknown future spoil our today!
I know from my experience that whatever happens in life, life goes on and solutions are found. So maybe now it’s time to smell the flowers (sorry for the cliché) instead of worrying about how they will look when they are wilted.