Part Three – Your Age Is Nobody’s Business

How Old is Old?

It is interesting how, as we advance in years, we push the boundaries of what we consider “old age.”

“I am so depressed,” my friend Irma told me the other day. When I asked why, she put her hands up in despair and answered, “I am turning thirty next week. I never thought I would get there.”

No, none of us ever thinks that we will get “there.” What? Becoming thirty of forty, or fifty? Or even older? No way! That happens to others — not me! But as the years pile up, you’ll find yourself kicking the idea of “old” farther and farther down the road.

When I was a child, I wondered why people like my grandparents looked so different. I can’t remember my grandmother being anything  but old. She wasn’t old, she was only in her fifties, but fifty is an eternity from ten, and I never thought that one day I would belike her

There is a line somewhere in the Bible that states, “Blessed are the ignorant.” And I think the young are blissfully ignorant. Forgive me for using another cliché (I think clichés hang around so long because they tell the truth), but “youth is wasted on the young.” for a long time, I did not understand the meaning of it, probably because I was one of those ignorant young people. When I wasn’t young anymore, it clicked. Youth is wasted on them because they take their good fortune for granted, not realizing that it won’t last. To quote my grandmother again,”The only good thing about aging is that it happens to everybody.”

Irma was right: the first hurdle is thirty. At that age, you are no longer a girl, but a young woman. And just when you grow used to it, you turn forty. Now that is a real game changer. You are then a woman, and here and there, little wrinkles show up.  What saves you in your forties is that for most women, life is so busy with careers, children, or both, that you don’t have too much time to analyze the whys and hows of your changing body and attitudes.

During your fifties, you begin to realize that your body is irrevocable changing. Typically, women experience menopause –and hot flashes, of course. But speaking for myself, I was never happier than when “that part of me” was out of the way. What a relief! No more cramps, no more mood swings, no more fear of pregnancy –just the joy of sex!

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P.S. This is an excerpt from my book ‘Living Longer Living Well” (more on my next blog)

And Never forget – A Smile Changes Everything!

Brigitte

 

Quote Of The Day – Love Has No Age!

Love has never been a question of age . I shall never be so old as to forget what love is.                                                                                                                                Colette

This is true for me and I hope it is true for you too!!!!

And Never Forget – A Smile Changes Everything!

Brigitte

Part Two – Your Age Is Nobody’s Business

         

 

           If Age Is Only a Number – Why Does Everybody Want to Know Mine?

Getting older is inevitable, but how soon you allow it to make decisions for you is your choice. I know that I am not ready for it, and I live my life without thinking about how old I am. Except when my birthday is coming up-that’s always a reality check! Or when a friend says, “Isn’t it your birthday next week?”

“I don’t have birthdays anymore,” I say, “I stopped those years ago.”

I often get a reaction like, “What a good idea!” Over the years, I have heard other people reply, “I am always thirty-nine” or “I have started to count backward.”

As much as I would like to ignore my date of birth, the world will not. It is written on top of my driver’s license….and it makes me slightly nervous when someone asks, “May I see some identification?” I always hope that he or she does not pay attention to my age, and luckily they usually don’t

When I pick up my blood pressure medication, the pharmacist asks, “What is your date of birth?” I wonder if she couldn’t see it in my file or what knowing my age adds to my co-payment.

I answer in a low voice.

“Can you speak up, please?” she asks again

I repeat it once more an now everybody in the line behind me knows how old I am. Most likely, nobody cares-but I do. You might call me vain, and maybe I am, but hearing myself say my age again and again reminds me of how old I am. It confirms it. This is something I can’t allow, or it will settle in my brain and creep into my bones, killing the spring in my step . Maybe it is a small spring, not like someone who is twenty-five or even forty, but I still walk erect, and don’t drag my feet.

Yes, age is only a number. But, oh, how it influences us if we are not careful. My friend Angela, who is very vibrant, active, and looks years younger than her age, recently had a birthday. When I asked her how she wanted to celebrate, she said, “Oh my god, this is a big one. I really don’t feel like celebrating. Can you imagine? I will be X years old.” (No, I won’t tell on her?

“It happens to all of us.” I replied at the time, but she didn’t hear me.

I noticed that after her birthday, Angela started every sentence with, “Well now, at my age,” or “I don’t know how long I can still do this,” or “You never know, when one gets sick, seeing how old I am now……” She never had those thoughts before, but her last birthday gave her a terrible present —it robbed her of feeling not old.

“Please don’t speak about your age all the time; it is starting to depress me,” I said to her one day.

“But it is true, I am X years old now an who knows what will happen, or if I will see my grandchildren graduate.”

Getting a little impatient with her and not knowing what to say anymore, I quoted my grandmother, who all through my life was a beacon of wisdom for me: “You know if you don’t want to become old, you have to die young!”

But Angela was so caught up in her new image of being old, she did not understand what I was trying to tell her, and continued to list all the things she would have trouble doing from now on.

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P.S. This is an excerpt from my book ‘Living Longer Living Well” (more on my next blog)

And Don’t Forget – A Smile Changes Everything!

Brigitte

 

 

Your Age Is Nobody’s Business!

 

No, I won’t tell you how old I am. If I do, you will see me with different eyes, and you will judge everything I do or say with that number in mind.

I made the mistake once telling someone my age. I regretted it instantly and still do. Janet, a friend of mine living in Switzerland who is ten years younger than I, was visiting New York, and it was my birthday. We went to a bar to have a few drinks, when suddenly she said, “So tell me, how old are you today?” And I fell into the trap.

Maybe it was the third glass of wine, or maybe it was because I knew I didn’t look much older than she. Anyway, my ego took over, and I told her.

“Can I help you carry that?” she asked the next day when I was holding a small package. Shit, I thought, why did I tell her? Later, when she asked me if I would like to go to Costa Rica with her, she qualified that things are really quite comfortable there and I shouldn’t worry.

Why would I worry? But she did, now that she knew my age.

It is often said that age is “only a number” and the difference lies in what you do with that number. sorry for the cliché, but this loosely translates into “You are only as old as you feel.”

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If you are in doubt that telling people your age influences their behavior towards you – try it out. Many of my readers have come back to me and confirmed this to be true. It’s is not a matter of hiding our age, no we are proud of it, but it is nobody’s business – remember the time when nobody dared to asked such a question??? Today people do, but we still don’t have to tell them.

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This is an excerpt from my book ‘Living Longer Living Well” (more on my next blog)

And Never Forget – A Smile Changes Everything!

Brigitte