Category: Being Alive

FEAR – DON’T LET IT SPOIL THE MOMENT

Published on by Brigitte NiocheLeave a comment

This week I attended a meeting of the TheRadicalAgeMovement held at the Ethical Culture Society of NY.

There were close to 100 men and women, anywhere from 60 to 80+++. and one of the topics was “What do you fear the most about getting old?”

The discussion went on for the next three hours, and here are some of the major concerns,

  • that I outlive my money
  • that I will be incapacitated
  • that I will be alone
  • that nobody will take care of me
  • that I am not part of the world any longer
  • that I can’t travel anymore
  • that my friends have all died
  • that I can’t take care of myself

These fears, all of them, or some of them, I think cross every older person’s mind at one time or another. But we must not allow it to take over our life. One woman said,

“I can hardly sleep when I think of my finances?”

“May I ask you if you are having financial difficulties now? I asked.

“No, my accountant says I will not outlive my money. But I can’t stop worrying because one never knows what might happen.”

No, one doesn’t. But let’s stop and think! Isn’t this is true for any situation in life, and at any age? – you never know what might happen?  And haven’t we all heard that worrying changes nothing? Realizing this we should not let an unknown future spoil our today!

I know from my experience that whatever happens in life, life goes on and solutions are found. So maybe now it’s time to smell the flowers (sorry for the cliché) instead of worrying about how they will look when they are wilted.IMG_4003 IMG_2007 IMG_3368

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And never forget – A Smile Changes Everything

Brigitte

 

 

 

WHY WRITERS WRITE

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I am usually not good at tooting my own horn, but today I would like to make an exception and share with you this interview about why and how I write.

                  Getting Over Growing Older

An interview with author Brigitte Nioche

                                   BooksGoSocial

May 31, 2016 | Interviews

Today we are chatting to Brigitte Nioche author of Getting Over Growing Older: How to Change Your Life by Staying Positive

Tell us something unexpected about yourself!

Love doing things out of the box, and enjoy proving the rules and regulations wrong, and when things become more difficult I become more determined to succeed- it’s the rebel inside me

What kind of books do you write?

Self-Help and Memoir/Self Help
What inspired you to write?

Observing people and their life makes me want to help them find a better way

What makes your writing stand out from the crowd?

I write with humor about serious things, never forgetting common sense and a down-to-earth approach – here is comment from a reader.

I liked your book very much. I particularly like your consistent message of staying positive and I also enjoyed learning more about your very interesting life. I think that your advice to older people is excellent. You have succeeded in presenting  good advice in a way that is fun to read and think about. It was a treat to read it.

What is the hardest part of writing – for you?

Working alone – and not being able to share before the work is done and the book is written

Where do you like to write – what is your routine?

In my office – and once I start writing I have trouble stopping and just keep going –

What do you do when you are not writing – do you have a day job?

I volunteer 2 days a week – I go to the movies very often – spend time with my family – and travel

Do you work with an outline or just write?

No, I just write – ideas come while working

What advice would you have for other writers?

Write what you feel passionate and strongly about – don’t write for an audience – writing being hard work should be rewarding and satisfying when you done – you must be happy with the result
How important is marketing and social media for you?

I know it is important – but I am not a fan of it and often struggle with it but I need to use it to get the book and myself (blog) out there

What’s your next step?

Selling my book in any way possible – -contacting reviewers -mailing books out to newspapers -writing a blog on social media -and any other avenue that I will find

Getting Over Growing Older is available here

http://www.amazon.com/Getting-Over-Growing-Older-Positive/dp/069262385X/

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I thank you for taking the time to read this

And never forget – A Smile Changes Everything

Brigitte

DEAR ABBY

Published on by Brigitte Nioche3 Comments

I started writing early in life and everything I have written were always Self Help or How To books. So when I came to the United States many years ago I fell in love with a column which appeared in over 1000 newspapers at the time called DEAR ABBY. She  gave advice and solved reader’s problems.

I never missed her column and reading it I always wished that one day I could be a DEAR ABBY. When recently I published my latest book  a review from a reader made my day. She said and I quote:

Getting Over Growing Older: How to Change Your Life by Staying Positive by Brigitte Nioche is full of advice and helpful hints. I was looking forward to reading this book. I will say that the book is easy to read, laced with bits of humor throughout . Perhaps it was because from the reviews I was expecting the book to be more of a mental positive encouragement on growing older gracefully more of a Katie Byron style. Instead I felt  it was more like a physical makeover through a monologue from a Dear Abby perspective.

Dear Abby – really? So maybe there still is time to make my dream come true? Can I start with you? Don’t you have any questions? Don’t you need advice? Aren’t you in doubt about your relationship? Your Job? Or maybe you don’t know how to handle the annoying neighbor who just moved in.? Just ask me anything you want! Leave your question right here and my answer will be on the way. Looking forward to hearing from you!

And never forget – A Smile Changes Everything
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Dear Abby/Brigitte

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANYONE?

Published on by Brigitte NiocheLeave a comment

No. I don’t have birthdays anymore, but my friend Judy was not aware of it and on my last birthday send me this card. It made me wonder if maybe I should have birthdays again so I can buy more shoes?

Card designed by TOMATO CARDS. DCI and made by Papyrus Recycled Greetings, Inc

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And never forget  – A Smile Changes Everything

Brigitte

MOTHER’S DAY WITHOUT MY MOTHER

Published on by Brigitte Nioche9 Comments

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“When I am not here anymore you will miss me,” my mother said to me one day.

She had been particularly difficult that day and did not agree. But today, years after her death I know she was right.

Every year when I first realize that Mother’s Day is coming, my reaction is what has that got to do with me? I don’t have a mother and I feel sad and deprived.

Mothers are not always easy to deal with. When we become adults we often reject their advice. We don’t want them to tell us what to do. We don’t want to learn from their experience. We don’t want to hear about their life. We want to be our own person and sometimes I even went as far as saying:

“But that’s none of your business, it is my life!”  Yes, it is my life, but would I be here without her?

When the umbilical cord is cut it only separates our bodies, because for a mother the connection to her child is never gone. The feeling to protect, to love, to nurture is never severed. It is sad, therefore, that only when our mother has left us do we see the complete picture. But maybe that is natural too, because from the day we are born our mother is a given. We don’t know a world without her. We take her love, her care, her admiration, support and above all her presence for granted.  – DON’T – The day will come you wished you had another chance to tell her that you appreciate her love and affection.

Sunday it is Mother’s Day again. No, I don’t have to buy a card or a present. I don’t have to pick my mother up for lunch, but I will remember what she said every year on this day: “I am so lucky, I have Mother’s Day all year-long – I have the best daughter one can hope for.”

MAMI —  wherever you are now maybe you can hear me -“I miss you — not only on Mother’s Day – but all year-long!”

HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY! sunflower Avignon

Brigitte

 

94 YEARS OLD AND GOING ON 22

Published on by Brigitte Nioche2 Comments

Good Morning Everyone!

There are moments in life which are worth sharing, and the other day there was such a moment.

Leaving the Beauty Parlor near the bus stop the lady using a walker joined the waiting crowd. After a few minutes she asked, “Do you know when the M5 is coming?”

“It should be here by now” I replied. But it wasn’t and did not come for the next 35 minutes. After some chit-chat about the inadequate public service in New York, and how good the hairdresser is she just visited (her white hair was very nicely cut and set) she said, “You know I am 94 years old and will be 95 next month.” She did not wait for an answer but put her hand in her purse and pulled out a 3″x5″  picture of a beautiful girl.

“Look this is me when I was 22 years old, I was a WAVE during the war.” A lady standing close by looked over and remarked, “You should have that enlarged and framed.”

“Oh, I have.  It is hanging in my bedroom.” and the way she looked at her picture seemed like an out-of-body experience, like the young girl in the photo was somebody else. Somebody else who she knows for a long time and who is still around.

“So when is your birthday next month?” I asked

“May 11” and after a moment she continued “I don’t know why I am still here. Maybe because I had a good husband who looked well after me. He was Egyptian but Jewish.You know each week he would go out and buy two cartons of cigarettes,  one for me and one for him……. and see I am still here.”

There was no bus in sight yet and I asked her if she didn’t want to sit down. By now I was ready to sit down, but her answer kept me standing, making me wonder why at my age I wanted to sit down.

“No, thank you I just sat an hour at the hairdresser, and I will sit again in the bus.”

When the M5 came into view, she looked at me and asked, “Do you know what a WAVE is?” When she saw that I hesitated she continued, “The Girl in the photo!”

And while watching her navigate her walker to get into the bus, I suddenly realized she was not 94 – she was still a WAVE!

(Women Accepted for Volunteer Emergency Service during the Second World War)

Never Forget – A Smile Changes Everything

Brigitte

I HATE MY CLOTHES!

Published on by Brigitte Nioche2 Comments

Hello Everyone!

Have you started to make the switch from winter to summer in your wardrobe?

I have just started….. and I have to admit that I hate everything I see. Why? Maybe because the warm sunshine, the budding trees and flowers give me the feeling of wanting a new beginning, a new start. But looking at my clothes they don’t match my longing for a new look. Instead they make me feel like I am left over….left over from when? That depends on how many seasons I have switched an item back and forth.

There is a chapter in my book  LET GO OF THE CLOTHES YOU  DON’T WEAR ANYMORE  (please believe me I do take my own advice) but this year seeing all the beautiful, bright-colored clothes, including bags and shoes which come in orange, turquoise, yellow and  any shade of pink,  I think I have to read that chapter again and let go of even  more things than I did during my last clean out.

Some of you might say that your clothes are like old friends and maybe they feel that way, but look again – even friends can out-stay their welcome. A few splashes of color will lift your spirits – replace the beige ( we all have plenty of it in our wardrobe) with a bright blue or fuchsia or any other color of the rainbow out there.

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Shoes by Salvatore Ferragamo

The other day I saw this pair of shoes in the window of the  Ferragamo store on Fifth Avenue – wonderful aren’t they? But even if you don’t want to be that extravagant it certainly drives home the message that bright and cheerful is the way to go this summer!

Never forget – a smile changes everything

Brigitte

 

 

 

 

 

 

THOUGHT OF THE DAY

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Follow a Chinese Proverb

                                   EVERY SMILE MAKES YOU A DAY YOUNGER

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And if you can’t find a smile, do like my friend Sue and hug your grandchild – it never fails!

Brigitte

 

 

YOUR BEAUTIFUL MIND – DRESS IT UP

Published on by Brigitte Nioche1 Comment

“You know Terry  is  a beautiful person on the inside” Sally said after her friend Terry had left. I wondered why she was telling me? Maybe Sally was embarrassed how her friend looked? Because the time we spend together did not give me a chance to find out about Terry’s beautiful mind, and her appearance didn’t give a hint.

In our fast-moving, short attention span world we can not hope that others will really see us for who we are. There is not enough time, but if we use the old, we can even say ancient, and proven tool called first impression we can point to the person inside.

With a little attention and effort Terry would not have needed her friend to tell me what a nice person she really is. No, I don’t mean that looks are everything. Or that good looks always go hand in hand with how beautiful a person is on the inside. But when you have a beautiful mind let it shine through by making the outside match your inside  — make an effort – make a good first impression.

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And never forget – a smile changes everything

Brigitte

 

 

GRAY LOCKS – THE WAY TO GO

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For a very long time companies like L’Oréal and Revlon have helped women hide any sign of white hair – a reminder of aging – and who wanted anybody to know that they were getting older? “I must have  my roots done” my friends used to say while pointing to their scalp.

Well, having your roots done is the past, because the latest fashion fad is Gray Hair! And not only for older women, but for women of any age. As for me it is just happening at the right time because lately I have noticed my hair turning white and since I have never colored my hair and didn’t like the idea I was wondering what to do.

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But seeing Helen Mirrem looking so beautiful I found the answer. I am now looking forward to having my hair turn white. And so can you!

Never forget – a smile changes everything!

scan0003-3Brigitte