Tag: Living Longer

IT IS NEVER TOO LATE

Published on by Brigitte NiocheLeave a comment

So true! But some of us who are older might not think so. They might say, ‘oh at my age it is too late to start’ or ‘I am not up to that anymore’ or I am happy with my life as it is now.’

I hear you, but let me ask you  “do you have something to get up for in the morning?”

Yes, there is the internet, there are your friends, properly most of them on Facebook, not actually sharing real life experiences with you, and then there is your family (who have their own life!) You might even be volunteering. But when all is said and done is there something that you are passionate about? Something you always wanted to do? Something life – your career, your family never allowed  time for?

I will demonstrate my point with  personal experience. Since I am retired I have done all the things I mentioned here and it made me feel good. I was glad that there was no more 9-5, yet something was missing. – I knew what it was. I needed a project. But what? One day, walking in the country an urge of wanting to hang on to the glow of the mountains, the beauty of the scenery, the tranquility of the trees around overcame me. And when I arrived home I had my pockets stuffed with pine cones, stones, pieces of tree bark, and twigs. Spreading them out on the table, moving them this way and that way I  suddenly saw a picture – and I was wondering if  others would too? That was the start and motivation of following a creative urge I always had, but I never had a chance to follow because I needed to earn a living.

Now 9 months later I have created over 30 images made of natural elements and recycled objects. I have a website called  http://www.reflection-of-nature.com and do pop up stores at places like the Pottery Barn, and West Elm. It is a slow start. I have sold only  a few but it is not about sales but about having a purpose. – 

Having heard my story, please don’t dismiss it with thinking something like this is not for you. It is!  Creating art from nature might not be for you , but everyone of us has a talent to be uncovered. A passion deep down in our heart that was never unleashed – now is the time!

And you might have more time than you think. If you are in your 70s and knowing that life expectancy today is  85, 90 plus, you might have 15 to 20 years in front of you. And what will you fill these years with? You can’t rely on the outside world – it has to be with a purpose all your own.

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I want to leave you by remembering my friend Alice who became 100 years old. After she retired from nursing she took up painting – abstract painting – and did this to her last day. Her paintings became less and less sophisticated, but the purpose of painting them never left her. It carried her through all the ups and downs of becoming a 100 – and I suspect that is why she became a 100 years old.

And never forget – A Smile Changes Everything!

Brigitte

Your Age Is Nobody’s Business!

Published on by Brigitte Nioche5 Comments

 

No, I won’t tell you how old I am. If I do, you will see me with different eyes, and you will judge everything I do or say with that number in mind.

I made the mistake once telling someone my age. I regretted it instantly and still do. Janet, a friend of mine living in Switzerland who is ten years younger than I, was visiting New York, and it was my birthday. We went to a bar to have a few drinks, when suddenly she said, “So tell me, how old are you today?” And I fell into the trap.

Maybe it was the third glass of wine, or maybe it was because I knew I didn’t look much older than she. Anyway, my ego took over, and I told her.

“Can I help you carry that?” she asked the next day when I was holding a small package. Shit, I thought, why did I tell her? Later, when she asked me if I would like to go to Costa Rica with her, she qualified that things are really quite comfortable there and I shouldn’t worry.

Why would I worry? But she did, now that she knew my age.

It is often said that age is “only a number” and the difference lies in what you do with that number. sorry for the cliché, but this loosely translates into “You are only as old as you feel.”

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If you are in doubt that telling people your age influences their behavior towards you – try it out. Many of my readers have come back to me and confirmed this to be true. It’s is not a matter of hiding our age, no we are proud of it, but it is nobody’s business – remember the time when nobody dared to asked such a question??? Today people do, but we still don’t have to tell them.

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This is an excerpt from my book ‘Living Longer Living Well” (more on my next blog)

And Never Forget – A Smile Changes Everything!

Brigitte

 

getting over grief as an older adult

Living Longer: Getting Over Grief

Published on by Brigitte Nioche1 Comment

The longer we live, the more likely we are to experience the grief of passing loved ones. We may even have to deal with the death of a spouse. Grief can be physically and mentally debilitating. The pain will feel unbearable for most us. That is why it’s important to be aware of the grieving process and the best ways to take care of ourselves during this time.

What are the stages of grief?

WebMD outlines the stages of grief as such:

 

Denial: When you first learn of a loss, it’s normal to think, “This isn’t happening.” You may feel shocked or numb. This is a temporary way to deal with the rush of overwhelming emotion. It’s a defense mechanism.

Anger: As reality sets in, you’re faced with the pain of your loss. You may feel frustrated and helpless. These feelings later turn into anger. You might direct it toward other people, a higher power, or life in general. To be angry with a loved one who died and left you alone is natural, too.

Bargaining: During this stage, you dwell on what you could’ve done to prevent the loss. Common thoughts are “If only…” and “What if…” You may also try to strike a deal with a higher power.

Depression: Sadness sets in as you begin to understand the loss and its effect on your life. Signs of depression include crying, sleep issues, and a decreased appetite. You may feel overwhelmed, regretful, and lonely.

Acceptance: In this final stage of grief, you accept the reality of your loss. It can’t be changed. Although you still feel sad, you’re able to start moving forward with your life.

How to Get Through Grief

There is no escaping grief. Trying to ignore it or drown it out will only postpone healing and could lead to mental health issues. Mental Health America recommends the following advice:

Seek out caring people. Find relatives and friends who can understand your feelings of loss. Join support groups with others who are experiencing similar losses.

Express your feelings. Tell others how you are feeling; it will help you to work through the grieving process.

Take care of your health. Maintain regular contact with your family physician and be sure to eat well and get plenty of rest. Be aware of the danger of developing a dependence on medication or alcohol to deal with your grief.

Accept that life is for the living. It takes effort to begin to live again in the present and not dwell on the past.

Postpone major life changes. Try to hold off on making any major changes. You should give yourself time to adjust to your loss.

Be patient. It can take months or even years to absorb a major loss and accept your changed life.

Seek outside help when necessary. If your grief seems like it is too much to bear, seek professional assistance to help work through your grief. It’s a sign of strength, not weakness, to seek help.

Grief is a part of life. Everyone will have to experience it. It helps to be aware of the stages you will go through and accept the fact that you might mourn for months or years. Prepare for the stages of grief, take care of yourself, and seek out professional help if needed.

What has been your experience with grief?

What has helped you cope?

Visit the Online Grief Support Forum.

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And never forget – A Smile Changes Everything!

Brigitte