This arrived in my email inbox today – it came from Disrupt Aging – Real possibilities from AARP – maybe you haven’t seen it – so I don’t want you to miss it!
Your sex drive doesn’t have to disappear as you grow older — just ask these guys
If the male sex drive is supposed to disappear with old age, how do you explain Mick Jagger? At 73, he not only has a ballerina girlfriend 40 years his junior, but he also got her pregnant, becoming a daddy this past December for the eighth time.
You don’t have to be a rich rock star to stay sexually active as you grow older. “It’s a myth that libido disappears as soon as men hit the midcentury mark,” says Abraham Morgentaler, M.D., author of The Truth About Men and Sex. But what’s the secret?
We tracked down a panel of men over 60 with libidos that won’t quit and asked for their tips on keeping it sexy past prime time.
1. Stop thinking you have to always be horny.
“I don’t think about sex all the time,” says Stan, 68, of Miami. “I stick to Wednesdays. On hump day, I do some humping. That’s enough for me.”
Healthy men, we’re told, think about sex every seven seconds. That breaks down to 8,000 sexy thoughts for every 16 waking hours. But the truth, according to a 2011 Ohio State University study, is less exhausting. College men actually think about sex, at most, 19 times a day. If in half a century, you whittle that down to once a week, you’re doing fine.
2. Adjust your sexy time clock.
“Time of day really is a thing as you get older,” says Franklin, 62, of Eau Claire, Wis. “You could hit me up with a hot, kinky three-way with nubile twins late in the evening and I would be all, ‘Can we get a little sleep and do this first thing tomorrow?’ ”
If “first thing tomorrow” sounds like a better game plan for sex, you’re not alone. A 2015 study by sex-toy company Lovehoney found that the “optimum time for passion” for a guy, regardless of his age, is 7:54 a.m. If she prefers evenings, remind her that sex lowers stress levels, which makes it a perfect beginning for the workday. Also, she may think she prefers sex at night, but according to some studies, women are at peak estrogen levels between 6 and 9 a.m., and estrogen increases sexual desire.
3. Get more sun.
“You want a reason to stay excited?” says Jonathon, 87, a happily widowed man living in the Villages, the largest gated retirement community in America. “You need to move to Florida. End of story.”
In a study last year at the University of Siena in Italy, researchers discovered that regular exposure to bright light can significantly raise testosterone levels and lead to greater sexual energy and enthusiasm in men with low or nonexistent sexual desire. If moving to a retirement community in Florida isn’t in the cards for you, just make sure you’re getting enough sun.
4. Don’t exercise.
“I spent most of my 20s and 30s at the gym,” says Stan, of Miami. “Now that I’m almost 70, it doesn’t matter anymore. I don’t care if I have a flabby gut. Not caring makes me less self-conscious when I’m naked with a special someone. Actually, being a little out of shape makes me feel sexier.”
That feeling’s not all in his head. Researchers from the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill published a new study in February suggesting that men who exercise moderately or lightly have significantly higher libidos than guys who work out enough to get washboard abs.
If you’re worried about your sex drive slowing down with age, it might be time to get off the treadmill.
5. Let your fingers do the walking.
Don’t get hung up on erections, advises Larry, 64, of San Francisco. “Boning is dessert,” he says. “The main course is everything else. All the tongues and fingers and stuff that young, insecure people call foreplay. That’s not foreplay; that’s f—ing sex, man. If it makes her howl, that’s f—ing sex.”
In a new study on female sexuality by Chapman University, Indiana University and the Kinsey Institute, women who “orgasmed more frequently” claimed it wasn’t a rock-hard erection that kept them satisfied; it was things like kissing, oral sex and manual genital stimulation.
Eric Spitznagel writes for magazines such as Playboy, Vanity Fair and the New York Times Magazine. The author of seven books, including his latest, Old Records Never Die, he is currently cowriting Jeff Tweedy’s memoir.